Isn’t it weird, how life’s just full of coincidences? Just as I’m reading The Practicing Stoic, I find myself caught up in the story of a certain pirate making headlines, with some peculiar similarities – but more on that later.
Chapter seven of The Practicing Stoic, penned by Ward Farnsworth, goes by the name ‘What Others Think’. Farnsworth points his finger at the unvarnished truth: on some level, we all crave the approval of others. Some dance their hearts out for applause from the masses, while others sculpt their lives based on how they’ll be remembered by generations to come. And while craving the aproval of others might not seem such a bad thing, it also implies our sensitivity to criticism. And let’s be real here, criticism can cut to the bone, and it can be hard to avoid, it would be like trying to evade hydrochloric acid raindrops.
Here’s what the old philosopher Epictetus had to say on the subject:
“What is it to be insulted? Stand by a stone and insult it; what will you gain? And if you listen like a stone, what will be gained by one who insults you? But if he has a stepping-stone in the weakness of his victim, then he accomplishes something.”
Here’s the kicker: If we don’t chase social approval too much, in all its elusiveness, we’re less likely to get burned by the flames of social disapproval. And Cicero had this to say on the subject: “What could be more absurd than to suppose the same ignorant and common people you despise, when taken one by one, are of any greater consequence when taken together?” It might seem a bit arrogant, but he has a point for sure.
Now, let’s get to the whole Johnny Depp matter. I must confess, I felt disappointed at first, when the allegations against him were revealed, years back, about him allegedly mistreating his lady, Amber Heard. Well, I thought to myself, we put these artists on pedestals, only to find they’re fatally flawed individuals. And it wouldn’t be the first time that we discovered some artist we liked didn’t live up to our expectations. R. Kelly, anyone?
Afterwards, when Depp lost the courtroom battle against The Sun in 2020, the implication seemed clear: he must’ve done something, right? Well, it wasn’t looking too good for my worn-out DVD of Pirates Of The Caribbean, that’s for sure. I was about to throw it out, when the lawsuit came. At first it seemed as though the deck was stacked against him – he had to clear some pretty big hurdles.
But YouTube changed the game. Everyone watched, and saw the tale unfold, as Depp’s lawyer, Camille Vasques poked holes in Heard’s original allegations. Suddenly, the pictures in evidence didn’t seem quite as trustworthy, and Heard’s narrative didn’t seem to hold up anymore.
Meanwhile, Heard’s strategy had changed. Whilst Depp had to prove a negative, that he wasn’t a devilish womanbeater, Heard shifted the spotlight to Depp’s tumultuous relationship with substance abuse, painting a picture of a man careening down a perilous path. And while I’m pretty sure Depp has his own demons to face, it also seems pretty clear that he didn’t do what we thought he did.
So, while Depp once seemed to be on top of the world, he also had to face some serious accusations. In the eyes of many, he transformed from hero to a symbol of all that’s broken in our world. Imagine, for a moment, the weight of carrying that reputation around, and what that would do to your mental wellbeing. The court of public opinion, as ever, remains a fickle and merciless judge.
Schopenhauer:
“Most men set the utmost value precisely on what other people think, and are more concerned about it than what goes on in their own conciousness, which is the thing most immediately and directly present to them. They reverse the natural order…”
Aurelius:
“I have often wondered how it is that, though every man loves himself most of all, he gives less weight to his own opinion of himself, than to the opinion of others. … Evidently we have more respect for the opinions our neighbours hold about us, than we do for our own.”
Let me also add a quote from the movie Hannibal (2001):
My freedom, just that. You’d take that from me. And if you did, would they have you back, do you think? The FBI? Those people you despise almost as much as they despise you? Will they give you a medal, Clarice, do you think? Would you have it professionally framed and hang it on your wall to look at and remind you of your courage and incorruptibility? All you would need for that, Clarice, is a mirror.
Met vriendelijke groet
Vincent J. Dancet